As You Step Out Into the Great Big World

Sam & Jake tossing their graduation caps under the University of Notre Dame golden dome

This letter is inspired by my children graduating from college this Spring. It’s really for all young adults and all of us who crossed this milestone long ago. It’s a reminder that it’s never too late to re-attach to the vine even now as we walk in the world.

Dear Jake & Sam,

These are some thoughts that stirred in my heart as I watched you crossing the stage and accepting your college diploma. A surge of love and pride swelled as well as a longing for you as you step out into the great big world.

Jesus tells us: “Remain in my love.” He also says, “It was not you who chose me, it was I who chose you, to go forth and bear fruit. I have told you this so that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete…love one another as I love you.” He uses the image of the vine (John 15)

In Jesus’ Mediterranean world, love was more about attachment and bonding than emotional feelings. This is part of what Jesus says to us in John’s gospel: Remain in my love – stay attached to me – I am the vine, you are the branches – stay attached no matter what lies ahead for you. Stay connected even when others around you break away. Remember that I layed down my life for you so that you would then go forth and bear fruit.

Sometimes your fruit will be rotten. At other times it will fall from the tree and hit the ground to die; sometimes it won’t come to fruition at all. But know that there will be times that it bears fruit, abundant fruit that will nourish and feed others. As long as you remain in God and you go and do what Jesus asks. Seek the Way that brings life and joy.

Yes – joy! Life is meant to be joyful, which is different from happiness. Joy is deep and fills you, prompts you to rejoice in creation, in your relationships, especially in God. In the love of the Trinity, the Spirit leads you.

And it’s okay for you to loosen your attachment to Dad and me. But know that we will always be here for you, always cheer for you, always give our advice when you ask us, and we’ll probably keep throwing it in when you don’t. We will always feel a need to teach you. But also know: you both are incredibly loving, kind, creative, intelligent human beings and we are so proud and joyful of who you have become and will continue to become. Because we are all still becoming, even now. Our hope for you is that your becoming continues, attached to Jesus on the vine, hopeful for the fruit you will work so hard to produce in the world.

Even if people around you have detached from the vine, even if they have turned away, even if they deny God’s existence, know that God, bidden or unbidden, is present.

You will know suffering, but you will also know joy. Jesus said, “It was not you who chose me, it was I who chose you.” Jesus has chosen you to go forth and bear fruit. And in the bad seasons, keep tilling the soil, keep planting. Stay attached. Remain in the love of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit that is in you. Go and do. And you will know joy. That is the good news!

And in those moments, those months when you question or doubt or don’t see or feel God’s presence, know that it’s okay, that God is present in those times. Even then. Remain. And when your eyes are clouded with darkness, pray. Always and everywhere. Pray. Pray that you can see yourself as God sees you. Pray that God will help you to stay connected. Don’t give up or give in to thoughts that it doesn’t matter. It does matter. You matter.

The world is better with you walking in it.  What gifts you will bring, what joy you will spread, what love you will share. Dad and I already know this about you. We are confident in what you bring to this world. We can’t wait to see where you will go.

Inspired by our bedtime song* when you were little: May God hear “Amen” wherever you are! Godspeed, Little Ones.

*The Chicks: “Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)”